In Midnight's Silence
by Harry'sPatronus
Summary: What happens when dreams are shattered? (Implied NevilleLuna)


Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned herein, sad though it may seem. The title is not mine. It is the name of a song. Sorry, I know you thought I was brilliant ;)  
  
Note to JKR: I'm sorry I did this . . . I truly am. I'm just weird. Hope you don't mind so much… 3 H'sP.   
  
In Midnight's Silence  
  
Walking into his room, Neville Longbottom fell lightly onto his bed, glancing over at his bedside table to catch a glimpse of a silver object that was glowing slightly; the setting sun was shining luminously through his open window, lightening the room with a luminous glow. Averting his eyes from the object he looked to the floor, only to see the full extent of seventeen years hard work. Millions of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrappers lay crumbled on the floor. The wrappers were more than just paper, they were memories, some of which he was ashamed to tell. The past seventeen years of his life had been a lie, and he had lived them without happiness or pride. His clumsy demeanor had prevented anyone from seeing his real abilities, most of which he struggled to improve during his last two years at Hogwarts. He had always wanted to do justice to the family name, a name that his father had vowed to protect so many years ago. But he would never be as powerful as his father, never. If anything, he was a true disgrace to the name of wizard, and it grieved him greatly to know that he could not protect his parent's memories. He would never know his true parents the way they once were.   
  
He remembered all the visits he had taken to St. Mungo's, the visits where he would stand solemnly as his mother handed him countless bubble gum wrappers, her eyes showing no sign of recognition. The hair of Alice Longbottom was wispy and gray, and she was clearly aging before her time. His father he barely got to see; he was always behind the curtain of his bed, hiding from the world, from his only son. But there were others too...  
  
Luna had been his only love at Hogwarts; two years ago Neville would have furtively whispered that they had a Mrs. Neville Longbottom on their hands, but that was not the case now.

  
  
/He was running faster than he had ever run in his life; down the corridor, past the battling students. He hurdled over several dead people as he went, sprinting down the stairwell and into the Great Hall. There was no time. She would surely be dead by now. The Castle was darker than ever: all the candles had been dimmed, and he could not see. He was blinded. He ran down into the Entrance Hall, out of breath but strong willed. He had to get there, he had to find Luna and make sure she was still alive. He slowed down so that he might feel his way to the Great Hall, but he stopped abruptly after nearly tripping over something hard.  
  
He knelt down, feeling Luna's face with his right hand.   
  
'She's cold,' he thought, his heart sinking with every second, every gasping breath. He bent over and kissed her cold lips, a single tear falling from his eye before he noticed it: blood was trickling slowly from her mouth; She was gone, and there was nothing he could do .   
  
Luna Lovegood was dead, and it was entirely his fault. If he had only cared enough to listen to her warnings, but he hadn't, and now she was dead; they were all dead because of his stupidity. He had no one now, and he blamed himself for his losses. If he had been a better wizard, maybe Luna, Harry… all of them would still be here with him.  
  
He had been too close-minded to believe that it could've been him who Voldemort wanted dead; and then the war came, and Harry the Hero came to defend Neville and his Squib-like magic, killing himself in turn. All of these years he had been protected by others, unable to defend himself. Voldemort was roaming England freely now, and it was he who had caused that. There was nothing left to live for, nothing. All his hopes, his dreams, had been shattered like glass, and they could not be repaired.   
  
Standing up, Neville stepped over the wrappers that were littering his floor. Picking the silver object up off of his bedside table, he glided morbidly toward the large, ancient-looking mirror that was positioned on the other side of the room. It looked as though it'd suffered nearly one hundred years of scratching and cracking. Looking at his reflection, Neville reminisced upon the past 18 years of his life. He remembered thinking the same thoughts for the past year: he would come into his room, fall onto his bed, and think about the years long gone.  
  
He had grown much during that time, but he seemed to have aged greatly during the last year. Emotionally, he was unstable, and he never seemed to have a happy thought. And now he just couldn't take it any longer. Switching the silver blade open, he looked at his reflection holding it. The deep, dark pain he had been feeling returned, and for a fleeting instant he thought that what he was doing might be wrong; so many lives were lost, but he had to go on… for his mother. He shook his head to abolish those thoughts. He couldn't; he needed to see her again, to see them all again. His mind was set and he knew that he could not go back now. He watched in horror as the knife's blade grazed his wrist and slowly pushed into his skin.   
  
No one went by to check on him that afternoon. It took the Aurors a week to realize that their best trainee was missing. When they found him, they were shocked. He had always seemed so kind and generous, yet here he was lying on the floor, dried blood staining his wrists. The story was told in the /Prophet/, the story of an Auror in Training who was highly respected among his peers, and how he had suddenly ended his life when he had so much more to live for. They had always wondered, but there would never be an answer. The question was left In Midnight's Silence, only to be answered by a whispering soul to his living friend in a voice that they would never hear.   
  
-----FIN-----  
  
A/N: I edited this story on May 2nd (mum's birthday). I took out most of the elipses (...) and edited some misused pronouns. I'm going to narrow down the search so that readers will be able to find the story. I've only gotten two reviews, which saddens me. I need to get more. R&R! 


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